User:Pond/Things Pond is No Longer Allowed to Do in Starfleet

From LCARS

Over the course of her time with Starfleet, Amelia "Pond" Waterhouse has done many things. Some of these things, she has been advised to no longer do. She also learns lessons from others, so some of the things in this list were not actually attempted by Pond herself.

If there is something that you think should be included in this list, please make a comment on the talk page. Thank you!

Special thanks to http://skippyslist.com/list/ for the inspiration to create this list.

  1. Thoroughly embarrassing your superior officer in the sparring ring may not be against regs, but composing a limerick to mock him is not the way to soften the blow.
  2. Slipping a note into the bra of a superior officer may not be the ideal way to tell her who you are, even if you're under cover and she's gorgeous.
  3. The Captain's ready room is not the place to pull out your handcuffs.
  4. If the Captain asks to borrow your handcuffs, you say yes. Even if they're your favorite pair.
  5. Hitler Has Only Got One Ball is not an appropriate choice of cadence song, as some humans may be offended.
  6. Romulan Ale is not allowed unless you have enough to share.
  7. If called to the bridge unexpectedly, remove the stetson from your head. Stetsons may be cool, but are inappropriate for the bridge.
  8. Converse are not within uniform regulations, even if you anticipate a lot of running on duty.
  9. Romulan Ale is not allowed, even if you brought enough for everyone.
  10. "But Daddy lets me" does not counter a superior's orders, even if Daddy is an Admiral.
  11. Tribbles are not to be used as targets for throwing knives, especially when they're on the head of an Admiral.
  12. Wings and a flame thrower do not turn a crew mate into a dragon, but can be seen as a threat to brass.
  13. If there is a combadge on the ready room door, the captain needs... Ten. More. Minutes.
  14. Slamming one's forehead into that of a superior officer can lead to unintended side affects such as concussion or death, especially if one is at least a quarter Klingon.
  15. Looking for bar fights on Qo'noS may be an acceptable leisure activity within Klingon culture, but taking your CO on a bar crawl while on leave is a risk to her safety.
  16. The Captain's chair is not the place to relieve sexual tension. Even if you clear the bridge first.
  17. Apparently it's unacceptable to keep a senior NCO in your bed for two days before he reports in for duty.
  18. The main viewscreen on the bridge is not for Mario Cart... No matter how boring patrol gets.
  19. Smacking your pilot in the nose with a bat'leth while he's dressed as a teenage mutant ninja turtle in the holodeck is not advised. Especially if your half Klingon mother set the program's safeties.
  20. Keep your eye on the prize during away missions. No matter how beautiful the ambassador's daughter is.
  21. Always ensure you have enough time—and help—to remove your corset piercing after leave. Your uniform is too tight to leave it in while on duty.
  22. When you uncover a conspiracy and a rogue org that has infiltrated Starfleet, it doesn't matter if you don't know who you can trust, you _always_ loop in the Commodore you report to. Always. Even if leaving him out of the loop allowed you to save the lives of everyone in San Francisco including the leaders of the New Romulan Star Empire.